We have long since stopped taking The Herald, 'Scotland's Best Quality Newspaper' as it styles itself, and not least because we feared that our own literacy, not good at the best of times, would vanish altogether if we had carried on reading this drivel.
We are told that, only yesterday, Editor Magnus spelt a breakfast roll, the sort of thing you eat, as 'a breakfast role' and that he had Alness near Invergordon located in the Black Isle.
Just how does Magnus escape his jotters? It's the biggest conundrum in journalism.
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