THE ROYAL FAMILY (1)

As a matter of recorded history,  monarchs and their offspring the world over have long been a very unsavoury lot.  The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is no exception.

As events unfold,  the late Queen Elizabeth II's perceived saintliness is suffering a mortal blow and quite rightly so.  We have never believed anything other than that she was highly typical of the breed and a cunning and conniving woman,  just like her mother Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon,  better known in later years as the Queen Mother.  That the late Queen Elizabeth chose to marry that awful man,  Prince Philip, and  the closeness of the Royal Family to the debauched Lord Mountbatten - mentor of the present king,  no less - tell us really all we want to know.

British newspaper proprietors and editors over the past 150 years are to blame for this dreadful state of affairs.  Instead of  investigating and publicising the outrageous conduct - including drug-taking aplenty - of the Royal Family over those years,  newspaper proprietors and their editors opted for the fawning sycophants' way in anticipation of  becoming associates of the royal tribe.  Utterly shameful.  Everything stage-managed to perfection alongside the newspapers as only the Windsors can do. 

No wonder we cannot trust or believe a word written in the Press to this day and no wonder that in this internet-enlightened age  newspaper sales have dwindled to a trickle.  Both the Royal Family and the Press are reaping what they have sown over a great many years.

THE LABOUR VULTURES

If our assessment  of the ghastly state of politics today is correct,  it appears that the only issue among the chattering classes for some time now has been who is to replace Keir Starmer as Prime Minister.  

Keir has never got over his huge  problem at the start of his premiership in accepting a colossal amount of free clothing  from Lord Alli.  He never will.  That was a bad move but there is nothing he can do about it now.  However, realising that Keir is  a hopeless Leader,  that he's not really interested in being Prime Minister and that they are all going to lose their seats,   the vultures are circling for blood.  Those vultures are  Angela Rayner,  Red Ed Miliband,  Wes Streeting and that chancer,  Andy Burnham,  mayor of somewhere in the North of England.

Lord help us with any of that lot as Prime Minister.  Caviar and champagne for them,  sackcloth and ashes for the rest of us.

RADIO SCOTLAND BREAKFAST

Most sadly,  the BBC flagship radio programme,  Good Morning Scotland,  is soon to be no more.  It is to be replaced by some dreadfully-named thing called Radio Scotland Breakfast. 

We had become well-used to presenters Gary Robertson and Laura Maxwell over many years and we liked in particular Robertson's roughing-up of Scotland's Nationalist politicians - who are stupid beyond belief one might add.  We have nothing whatever against the new presenting team of Martin Geissler and Laura Maciver,  both excellent journalists in their own right,  but why the change?

And what prize dumpling dreamt up the name Radio Scotland Breakfast?  It's enough to make you spew your porridge.

WES STREETING MP

Up till yesterday, we had completely forgotten that Mr Streeting existed.  We understand Mr Streeting to be Heath Secretary in this accursed Labour Government.  He's been in the public eye these past two days following claims he's been briefing against the Prime Minister,  Keir Starmer.

We've checked our notes from some 16 months ago when this Labour Government was formed and,  lo and behold,  Mr Streeting is mentioned therein.  We described him then as 'having a featherweight brain he's anxious to show off to anyone daft enough to listen'.

We have neither seen nor heard anything  since to make us change our mind.  Another complete nonentity - and a highly treacherous one to boot.

RACHEL REEVES MP (2)

Things just keep happening to Rachel Reeves MP who doubles as Chancellor of the Exchequer.  She's always been a financial disaster. 

It now transpires that Rachel (infamously known as Rachel From Accounts) failed to apply for a Letting Licence for the South London home that she lets out for a rent of nearly £50,000 per year.  As Chancellor,  she's got basically freebie residence at 11 Downing Street right  next door to the Prime Minister.

She likes money does our Rachel.  Remember,  she's the one whose parliamentary credit card was stopped by the parliamentary authorities a year or two back over false accounting - excellent training and a notable CV entry for a future Chancellor of the Exchequer don't you think?   

Pity she doesn't respect our money in quite the same way as she does her own.  It's nightmarishly  terrifying to think this woman is in charge of the nation's finances.  

She's the most stupid woman on earth, way beyond belief.

SIR MARK ROWLEY, COMMISSIONER, METROPOLITAN POLICE (2)

We are now told that the charges against Graham Linehan,  the comedian who was arrested at Heathrow  Airport after returning from America,  have been dropped.  The charges were outrageous,  an arrest basically for telling innocuous jokes.

We are still waiting for Commissioner Rowley to resign.  If he had any honour at all,  he would have resigned long before now and taken with him whatever clown of an officer who authorised this crazy  arrest in the first place.

Why is every Chief Constable in the land such an abject failure?

REFORM UK (3)

Nigel has suspended four Reform members of  Kent County Council for 'bringing the party into disrepute'.

All with no trace of irony whatsoever.